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The Laws of Science and Rollerskating --Discussion--

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Blood Red
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Favorite Pokemon : Charizard
Posts : 506
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Join date : 2014-12-18
Location : Mt. Silver

The Laws of Science and Rollerskating --Discussion--

Post by Blood Red on Wed Jan 07, 2015 11:09 am

It was really good Very Happy




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matthew11
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Re: The Laws of Science and Rollerskating --Discussion--

Post by matthew11 on Tue Jan 13, 2015 10:07 am

Hubeh! Izz good!

But one minor flaw is that, the description of the setting and the characters went down as the story progresses. The intro was great, but, the body was lacking it. I couldn't feel how the characters react to one another, and how they feel about their surrounding areas.

There were many potential lines that can be brought up from your story to further show its essentiality and emotion or 'them feels' and even movement to the readers and to make them read while they feel what the characters feel and imagine them doing what they are meant to do from a certain point. But I can see that you have skills in writing dialogues, so no need to worry about that.

I hope this review can improve your writing Smile.

Oh, and when's part 2 coming up?



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RobSp1derp1g
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The Lwas of Science and Rollerskating --Discussion--

Post by RobSp1derp1g on Tue Feb 03, 2015 9:43 pm

@matthew11 wrote:Hubeh! Izz good!

But one minor flaw is that, the description of the setting and the characters went down as the story progresses. The intro was great, but, the body was lacking it. I couldn't feel how the characters react to one another, and how they feel about their surrounding areas.

There were many potential lines that can be brought up from your story to further show its essentiality and emotion or 'them feels' and even movement to the readers and to make them read while they feel what the characters feel and imagine them doing what they are meant to do from a certain point. But I can see that you have skills in writing dialogues, so no need to worry about that.

I hope this review can improve your writing Smile.

Oh, and when's part 2 coming up?

The resolution of this ship will show up in What Happens.



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What Happens...
(Amour) UPDATED | The Laws of Science and Rollerskating (LaserBlade) | The Book (Amour)
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A drabble about AmourShipping.

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New York Times 4-8-2016 Wink
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Re: The Laws of Science and Rollerskating --Discussion--

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